The Kind of Woman I Want to Be: Remembering Dolly Parton

It is always sad to hear about someone special passing, and it is always sad to hear about someone losing a battle with cancer. But when you have had cancer yourself, news like that hits differently because you know your story could have been different. Mine could have been different.

Hearing about the passing of Dolly Parton made me stop and reflect, not only on her incredible career and all she accomplished, but on the beautiful spirit she shared with the world.

When I think about the kind of woman I want to be, I think about so many of the qualities Dolly seemed to embody. She was kind, generous, funny, successful, wise, and compassionate. She showed us that you could achieve extraordinary success without losing your humanity, that you could be powerful and still be approachable, and that you could take your work seriously without taking yourself too seriously.

That combination is beautiful to me.

A Different Kind of Success

Of course, Dolly Parton was extraordinarily talented. Her music reached generations, her business accomplishments were remarkable, and she became one of the most recognizable women in the world. Yet when I think about her legacy, I do not think only about what she accomplished. I think about what she gave and how many people benefited because she was successful.

Through the Dolly Parton Imagination Library, she helped put books into the hands and homes of children around the world. She supported education, communities, medical research, and people experiencing difficult circumstances. Her generosity did not seem separate from her success. It was part of what made her success meaningful.

That resonates deeply with me because I have always believed our lives are not just about what we can accomplish for ourselves. They are also about the people we can encourage, help, teach, inspire, and lift along the way.

And interestingly, Dolly, Dollywood, and her hometown have been part of one of those reminders in my own life.

A Trip to Dollywood That Became Something More

Years ago, I wrote about a birthday trip to Pigeon Forge in a blog post called This Year I Didn’t Cry on My Birthday. What started as a birthday getaway became a series of unexpected encounters that reminded me that sometimes we think we are going somewhere for ourselves when God may have something much bigger in mind.

During that trip, I met a woman who had worked seasonally at Dollywood and had recently lost her job. We talked, connected, hugged, and shared one of those moments that could easily seem random until you look back and see how one experience connected to the next.

That encounter ultimately led to another unexpected opportunity. I ended up in Sevierville, Tennessee, Dolly Parton’s hometown, where I was interviewed by Jim Wood on his Sirius XM radio show.

I could not have planned that connection when I met that woman. I certainly did not know where a simple conversation would lead. I was just being myself, listening to someone else’s story and sharing a little of mine.

Looking back now, especially as I reflect on Dolly’s life, that memory feels even more meaningful.

Dollywood bears Dolly’s name, but what she built was never only about putting her name on something. It created jobs, opportunities, experiences, memories, and economic impact for other people. Her influence stretched far beyond a stage or a song, just as our own influence can extend much further than we realize.

Sometimes one conversation matters. One act of kindness matters. One connection matters. We may never fully know where the seeds we plant in someone else’s life will grow.

Cancer Makes You Look at Life Differently

The news of Dolly’s death also touched something much more personal in me because cancer changes your perspective.

When you have heard that word connected to your own life, hearing that someone else lost their battle with cancer does not feel quite as distant. You understand in a very personal way that life can change quickly and that your own story could have had a different ending.

Mine could have.

That reality does not make me want to live afraid. It makes me want to live aware. I am more aware that time matters, relationships matter, the work I am doing matters, and the way I treat people along the way matters too.

We spend so much of our lives thinking about what we want to accomplish. We create goals, chase opportunities, build careers and businesses, and work toward the next milestone. There is nothing wrong with ambition, but Dolly’s passing has me thinking about a question that may be even more important than what I accomplish:

Who do I want to be while I am accomplishing it?

The Woman I Want to Be

I want to be the kind of woman who is kind even when kindness is not required and generous even when no one is watching. I want to laugh often and make other people laugh too. I want to be successful without ever believing that success makes me more important than anyone else.

I want to have enough wisdom to recognize what really matters and enough compassion to care about what other people are going through. I want my success to create opportunities for someone else, and I want people to feel better, stronger, more confident, or more hopeful because I was here.

Those are also many of the lessons I learned from my grandmas and wrote about in 100 Lessons My Centenarian Grandmas Taught Me. They taught me about humor, generosity, resilience, community, compassion, gratitude, leadership, and living with purpose.

The older I get, the more I realize that our legacy is not simply what we leave behind. It is also what we leave inside other people.

What Will People Remember?

Dolly Parton achieved the kind of success most people can barely imagine, but when people reflect on her life, so many of the qualities they remember have little to do with awards, money, fame, or record sales.

They remember her kindness, humor, generosity, authenticity, wisdom, and compassion.

That says something.

It also challenges me to think even more intentionally about my own legacy. Not because I expect to become Dolly Parton. There will only ever be one Dolly. But I can choose to embody some of the qualities I admired in her, and so can you.

We can choose kindness and generosity. We can choose humor even when life gets hard. We can choose compassion when it would be easier to focus only on ourselves. We can pursue success while remembering to reach back, reach over, and help someone else move forward too.

Most importantly, we can stop assuming we have unlimited time to become the people we keep saying we want to become.

Live Your Legacy Now

Loss has a way of reminding us that someday is not guaranteed, and cancer certainly taught me that.

So today, I am thinking about Dolly Parton with gratitude. I am grateful for the music and laughter she gave the world, but I am even more inspired by the example of generosity, kindness, wisdom, and compassion that accompanied her success.

I am also thinking about that birthday trip, the woman I met who had worked at Dollywood, the unexpected interview in Dolly’s hometown, and all the connections that came from simply being open to people and moments I could never have planned.

Life is made up of those moments.

Maybe that is one of the greatest lessons we can take from a life well lived. We do not have to wait until we have millions of dollars, worldwide recognition, or an enormous platform to make a difference. We can start with the person standing in front of us.

So I am asking myself a question that I hope you will ask yourself too:

If people remembered your spirit more than your accomplishments, what would you want them to say?

Whatever your answer is, start living it now. Be kinder now. Give now. Laugh now. Encourage someone now. Pursue the dream now, and use whatever success and influence you have to make someone else’s life a little better.

Dolly Parton’s life reminds me that we do not have to choose between being successful and being good. Maybe the most beautiful kind of success is building a life where the two become inseparable.

May we honor special people not simply by remembering how brightly they shined, but by having the courage to carry some of that light forward ourselves.

Learn more about my work helping people develop confidence and resilience at SummerOwens.com and explore 100 Lessons My Centenarian Grandmas Taught Me at 100LessonsMyGrandmas.com.