The 12th Anniversary of One of My Biggest S.O. What!’s

Tonight I’m grateful because it is what would have been my 12th wedding anniversary. And I’m not sad about what could have been or what at one time I thought should have been.

On June 9, 2007 I got married with doubts. There was love, but there was fear, hesitation, and concern. I still walked down that aisle. And when times got rough, which they did right away, I still fought for my marriage. I fought for my commitment and to not add divorcee to my list of negative titles.

I was so sad, lonely, and tired, but I still fought. Fought to keep the commitment I made to him, to my son, and to God. After two years of fighting for my marriage, mostly alone, I got divorced. I received congratulations because people who loved me knew I had been hurting when I should have felt loved. But people didn’t understand that to me divorce felt like death.

And in a way it was. Death of what I thought should have been a life-long relationship, and it was the death of what had been a good friendship. Even though I had been married only a short time, I had to start over. I had sold my house and rearranged my whole life and my son’s. I had to move and repurchase everything. One night after moving into my new apartment, I broke down because I didn’t have a can opener. I had been working and unpacking all day but had volunteered to make a chicken pot pie for a team meeting the next day. At midnight when I finally had a chance to cook, I realized I had bought all the ingredients but didn’t have a can opener to open the mixed vegetables or cream chicken.

I slid to the floor and just cried. Luckily, my son was asleep.

There were many more breakdown episodes. MUCH more dramatic and painful…for all of us. Before, during, and after the marriage.

But I moved forward and today on what would have been my 12th anniversary, I feel nothing. I can easily say S.O. What! I married the wrong person or didn’t do everything right in my marriage. And S.O. What! I am like so many other women who have experienced divorce and also disappointment for their children. The lessons I learned through the entire experience have made me a better woman and an awesome life coach! So I’m grateful for that enormous #sowhat that has helped me to help so many others.

Share your marriage/divorce #sowhat stories.