Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day: A Journey of Self-Love Through Past Experiences

Happy Valentine’s Day—a day filled with hearts, chocolates, and grand romantic gestures. For some, it’s a day of love and celebration. For others, it’s a reminder of relationships lost, love never found, or expectations that fell short. I’ve lived through both extremes. I’ve had Valentine’s Days that made me feel cherished, and others that left me feeling empty. But through all of it, I’ve learned that the most important love I could ever receive isn’t from another person—it’s from myself.

Learning to Love Yourself, No Matter the Circumstance

I remember one Valentine’s Day in high school, watching other girls receive balloons and teddy bears from their boyfriends. Even when I was pregnant, I saw the person who I wanted to be my son’s father send another girl balloons. I tried to act like it didn’t bother me, but deep down, I wondered if I wasn’t pretty enough, special enough, or worthy enough to be celebrated. What I didn’t know then was that loving yourself isn’t about being chosen by someone else—it’s about choosing yourself first.

Then there was the Valentine’s Day after I became a mother at 15. There were no romantic surprises, no fancy dinners. Just me and my baby. And while I could have felt sad, something clicked—I was already experiencing the purest form of love. My son didn’t care if I had a date or if someone brought me roses. Or even if anyone else loved me. He just needed me to love him. And in doing so, I learned to love myself a little more.

The Valentine’s Day I Thought Was Perfect

One of the most memorable Valentine’s Days was the day I got proposed to after a short time of dating. I felt so special, so chosen, so wanted, so deeply loved. It felt like the fairy tale moment I had always dreamed of. I remember waking up my son to tell him the good news that I was getting married, and he was getting a father. But as life would later teach me, love isn’t about one perfect moment—it’s about consistency, respect, and real partnership. That marriage didn’t last. And when it ended, I faced another Valentine’s Day, but this time, I was determined to love myself in a way I never had before.

The Valentine’s Day I Took My Own Happiness Into My Hands

The first Valentine’s Day after my divorce was final, I did something different. I went out and bought myself a pink Dooney & Bourke bag—something I would have never spent money on before. It wasn’t just a purse; it was a symbol of self-love. A reminder that I didn’t have to wait for someone else to make me feel special—I could do that for myself.

When Being in a Relationship Didn’t Mean Feeling Loved

Then there was the Valentine’s Day when I was actually in a relationship—but still didn’t feel loved. That one maybe stung the most. I thought having someone would automatically make the day special especially after all the love, loss, experiences, and failed expectations at my more mature age. But I learned that love isn’t just about being with someone—it’s about feeling valued, cherished, and respected. And that starts with loving yourself first.

That’s Why I Created the Love Yourself Event

After years of experiencing the highs and lows of Valentine’s Day, I realized something important—we don’t have to wait for someone else to celebrate us. We can celebrate ourselves. That’s why I created the Love Yourself Event, now headed into its 9th year. It’s a space for people to come together, embrace self-love, and remind themselves that they are already whole, already worthy, and already enough.

How to Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day

This Happy Valentine’s Day, I challenge you to love yourself a little more:

✅ Take yourself out to dinner.
✅ Buy your own flowers.
✅ Write yourself a love letter.
✅ Reflect on how far you’ve come.

Because at the end of the day, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. ❤️